photo by Becca Tapert on Unsplash
How’s your sex life?
If your sex life is underwhelming, you’re not alone.
Studies have shown that approximately 60% of women are sexually unsatisfied.
And that’s not just because we’re having less sex than we did a decade ago, which studies also confirm, but also because the sex we’re having isn’t always satisfying.
Shifts in desire and sexual response should not be unpredictable, nor should they feel completely random.
And they definitely should never make you question whether or not you may be suffering from low libido.
Ebbs and flows of sexual desire are natural – and totally normal! – for women.
There’s a common misconception that a woman’s libido should “match” a man’s, but here’s the thing—
Men have a 24-hour hormonal rhythm, where testosterone peaks in the morning and slowly declines throughout the day.
Their libidos are more straightforward, and are less impacted by external factors like medications and physical and emotional environments.
Women have a 28-day hormonal rhythm where estrogen starts to gradually rise beginning at the beginning of our cycle during our last few days of bleeding. The hormones progesterone and testosterone peak mid-cycle, near what’s called the fertile ovulation window … which is also when our libido naturally increases, so our desire for sex is heightened and therefore we have a higher chance of reproducing.
Aside from the obvious—good sex feels amazing, whether you’re engaging in a solo session or together with partner—good sex is good for health. Here’s what we know about sex and health:
Sexual activity with a partner, at least once a week, can help regulate your menstrual cycle.
Orgasms boost fertility in a couple different ways, including having a positive impact on basal body temperature.
Pleasurable sex can help mitigate the unpleasurable symptoms of PMS. Orgasms trigger a rush of endorphins and corticosteroids in the body, which help decrease pain. This is especially good news considering that the pain relievers women often turn to for PMS—non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs like ibuprofen—can have serious side effects.
Having regular sex makes you look younger! Research suggests that women who have sex at least three times each week look a decade younger than those who don’t get it on as often.
Having frequent, satisfying sex is associated with a range of positive health outcomes, from lower breast cancer rates and decreased risk of cardiovascular disease to boosting immune system function and promoting neurogenesis (the growth of new brain cells).
In a nutshell?
Satisfying, pleasurable sex—whether solo or with someone else—does a woman’s body good.
Today we’re biohacking your sex life based on your menstrual cycle.
Yep, you read that right. Where you’re at in your cycle totally affects how much you’re enjoying sex (or not enjoying).
So, how do we biohack our cycles?
Easy!
During your:
Your sex hormones are low and your brain is primed for novelty. Your vagina may be drier during this phase, so use a natural lubricant. With your brain ready for new experiences, this is a fantastic time to try new things in the bedroom!
Your sex hormones are surging, you have lots of natural lubrication, and you are in the mood to connect. Orgasms tend to come easier when you are ovulating and your verbal skills will be at their best, so be clear and confident about what you want.
Your hormones remain high during the first half of this phase and then start to dip just before your period. During the first half of this phase, your sex hormones (estrogen, progesterone, testosterone) are high and so is your libido. As your hormones dip, your sex drive will slow down and you may crave slower sex with more foreplay. Break out the natural lube in the second half of this phase!
Food always comes first when you’re working to build up the key micronutrients you need to balance your hormones, boost your libido, and have more satisfying sex.
But … even if you’re eating a nutrient-dense, perfectly balanced diet, it can be difficult to get enough of the micronutrients you need to benefit your sex life.
Here are the supplements I recommend for better sex:
B vitamins promote a sense of calm and help fight the corrosive, sex-killing effects of stress. If stress is putting a damper on your sex drive, B vitamins can help.
B vitamins can be found in red meat, eggs, poultry, fish, nuts, seeds, and leafy greens.
Testosterone (albeit in smaller amounts than in men) helps power women’s libido, and zinc supports healthy levels of testosterone. If you feel like you’ve lost that lovin’ feeling, making sure your body has adequate stores of zinc is a great place to start.
Zinc can be found in chickpeas, seeds (pumpkin, hemp, sesame seeds), cashews (butter or milk), eggs, and grass-fed red meat.
While zinc helps promote healthier testosterone levels, magnesium helps keep testosterone circulating in the bloodstream. Like B vitamins, magnesium has also been shown to help reduce anxiety—and less anxiety leaves more emotional space for play and sensuality.
Magnesium can be found in coconut water, dark chocolate, dark leafy greens, avocado, nuts and seeds.
Omega-3s are linked to improvements in mood and overall health, two factors that can increase your desire for sex. Studies also suggest a link between healthy levels of omega-3s and better orgasms.
Omega-3 fatty acids can be found in wild caught fish and seafood, walnuts, flax seeds and oil, and chia seeds.
If low mood is behind your dwindling desire, taking a probiotic can help shift your internal microbial ecosystem in ways that elevate your mood—and make you naturally more interested in sexual activity.
Some herbs that help support healthy female sexual desire and pleasure are tribulus, horny goat weed, damiana, maca, and gingko. I love LibidoStim-F – it contains all of these herbs and I use it with clients all the time with great success!
Female and male libidos are totally different. Ebbs and flows of sexual desire are natural – and totally normal! – for women.
Satisfying, pleasurable sex—whether solo or with someone else—does a woman’s body good.
It’s possible to biohack your menstrual cycle to have pleasurable sex at every point in your cycle!
Looking for a more one-on-one approach when it comes to optimizing your libido? I love working with women on an individual basis to deep dive into your specific scenario with all its uniqueness and figure out how we can come up with a plan that works best for you, and your body.
Curious about your fertility health? Take this simple quiz to find out what factors may be harming your fertility, and learn what you can do about it!
